


Cupid's Kettle Drums

by TuppingLiberty



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bitty has graduated college, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Future Fic, M/M, Providence, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 23:48:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12000483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: A simple summer night in Providence with Jack and Bitty -Jack finds a buzzfeed article about Victorian slang, which leads to laughter, and eventually, happy laughing sexy times.





	Cupid's Kettle Drums

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LeftWingLibrarian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftWingLibrarian/gifts).



Jack’s apartment had air conditioning, but once the sun started going down, Bitty preferred to roll open the balcony door and let the humid night air roll inside. It reminded him a little bit of Georgia, up here in Rhode Island. 

There was a slight breeze rifling through Bitty’s hair as he sat on one end of the couch, his legs folded under him to make room for his laptop. Jack was sitting across from him, also on his laptop. Bitty wasn’t actually sure what he was doing, probably watching tape, he figured, because he had earbuds in so as to not disturb Bitty. 

Bitty was job hunting. With graduation behind him and college loan payback - he'd earned some scholarships for hockey, but Samwell had been expensive - looming ahead of him, he was trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to do and where he wanted life to take him. Living rent free was all he'd accept from Jack, and that was only because though they hadn't talked about it explicitly, neither of them would ever be living apart again, as long as they could help it. If Jack got traded and Bitty had a life here in New England - well, they'd cross that bridge if they came to it. They were in this for the long haul.

He was halfway through tailoring his resume for a social media position when Jack burst into laughter, except he had headphones on and was trying to be quiet, so the suppressed mirth ended sounding more like giggles. It made Bitty’s heart warm, and he glanced up from his work to see a happy flush across Jack’s cheeks as he shook. 

Deciding he needed a mental break anyway, Bitty reached out one of his legs and poked Jack with his toes to get his attention. When Jack looked up, he was grinning, and Bitty’s heart skipped a beat, like it was wont to do when Jack dared do something like  _ look _ at him. 

Jack pulled out his earbuds, still smiling. “What’s up, bud?”

“I need a brain break, tell me what you’re laughing at?”

If anything, Jack’s blush intensified, and now Bitty’s curiosity was definitely piqued. “Uh. Well.” Jack cleared his throat. “Okay, so I was thinking about that cool house I run by every morning, on Broadway? And I wanted to know more about it, and it turns out it’s  _ Victorian _ and then I wanted to know more about _that,_ so I went searching around and went down various, uh, rabbit holes until I ended up on this Buzzfeed article.”

Bitty smiled indulgently. It wasn’t the first time Jack had done this exact same thing, and it was so fucking adorably cute, it made Bitty want to take Jack’s cheeks in his hands and kiss him soundly. He settled for nudging Jack’s thigh with his toes again. “Tell me, you nerd,” he said lovingly.

“It’s a bunch of Victorian slang? And it’s- well. The article says we need to start using the words again, and they’re not wrong, eh?  _ Bitch the pot _ means to pour tea.” 

_ “ Bitch _ the pot? Seriously?” Despite himself, Bitty giggled, then covered his mouth. He set aside his laptop and leaned back, stretching out both his legs now so they tangled up with Jack’s.  “Bitch that pot!”

Jack grinned at him. “Oh, here’s a good one. Next time we skype your parents, I’ll use this on Suzanne -  _ bit o’ jam -  _ pretty lady.” He snickered, eyes scrunched up. 

“She might actually like that,” Bitty murmured with a smile. “Though, you know, you literally don’t have to sweeten Mama up any more than you have, she loves you already.”

“Hey, that’s what you should call your canning business!”

“I don’t have a canning business, I just have people who like my canned goods.” 

“Customers, people generally call them,” Jack replied, this conversation one they’d had several times over the last year. 

“I’m  _ not  _ calling your coworkers my  _ customers.”  _ Bitty’s tone was all Indignant Southern.

Jack just raised a brow, then patted Bitty’s foot. “Okay, here’s another one.  _ Crinkum-Crankum.  _ Guess what it means.” 

“Crinkum-crankum? Um. I don’t know, like, something with a crank? Like... a machine of some kind?”

“Nope!” Jack said cheerily, laughing again. “Vagina!”

Bitty felt the blood rush to his face. His “Jack” was scandalized, then he laughed. “Seriously, vagina? What the heck, Victorians?”

“Right? Okay, okay. Um.  _ Gas-pipes.” _

“Well now my mind is in  _ all  _ the wrong places. Does it have something to do with why I will never partake in the Haus baked beans night again?”

Jack snorted and shook his head. “No, but good guess. No, it’s an item of clothing. You look good in it.” 

Bitty pretended to pat his hair. “Well you’ll have to narrow it down, cowboy. I look good in everything.” 

Jack’s gaze slid along the long expanse of Bitty’s expose legs, up to the little blue shorts he was wearing. “You certainly do.” 

“Charmer,” Bitty murmured, a pleased grin on his face. “What are they, really?”

Jack seemed to snap out of his reverie. “Oh, um. Tight trousers. I mean, I was thinking of those red skinny jeans you have, that make your ass- um.” Jack coughed, looking sheepish. 

Bitty’s toes crept along the underside of Jack’s thigh, then brushed lightly between Jack’s legs, where he could feel a hardness growing. It took his breath away a little bit, both that  _ he _ was the one Jack desired, that he could make Jack feel this way, and also that he was comfortable enough with his own body and Jack’s, to do something this bold. He rubbed very lightly against Jack’s cock, through the slinky material of Jack’s athletic shorts. Jack locked eyes with him, full of desire. 

“They, uh. They have a word for this?” Bitty asked, trying to stay light, but the huskiness in his voice betrayed him. 

Jack’s legs spread wider to give him better access, even as his gaze flicked back down to the screen and he scrolled around. “No- no. Nothing for penis. Tallywags, though.”

Bitty couldn’t help but snort again. “And those are?”

“Well, your toes are right on mine, for a hint.” 

Bitty, who’d been playing lightly with Jack’s balls with his toes, paused, locking eyes with Jack again, then bursting out in laughter.  _ “Tallywags?  _ Oh. My. God. I’m so glad I didn’t live in Victorian times, and not just because of the rampant homophobia and lack of effective antibiotics.” 

“Don’t forget the smallpox, and the polio. But hey, at least they had Cupid’s Kettle Drums.” 

“I don’t know if I  _ want _ to know,” Bitty said with a grin, both hopelessly amused and aroused. It was a bubbly, light feeling in his chest, a feeling he identified with Jack. 

“As in-” Jack paused for a second, holding back laughter. “As in, ‘Would you mind terribly if I... had a go on your Cupid's kettle drums?’” He made it all the way through the sentence before bursting into more helpless giggles. 

Bitty narrowed his eyes. “No. No way.” 

Jack looked up, eyes streaming. “Yes.”

“Boobs?” Bitty guessed, voice full of regret for humankind.

_ “Yes.” _ Jack’s confirmation could barely be heard around his giggles. 

Bitty pulled Jack’s laptop away from his lap and crawled up in between his legs, tapping his hands over Jack’s pecs. “Hey, uh, ma’am, can I have a go on your Cupid’s kettle drums?” He started playing a light beat on Jack’s pecs as Jack’s whole body crunched up in laughter. 

“Stop, stop, oh my god,” Jack managed to say, capturing Bitty’s hands gently and pulling him down for a kiss instead. 

Bitty slid his arms around Jack’s neck and settled into Jack’s lap, into the kiss. Jack’s hands ran down his back until they’d settled in their favorite location, cupping Bitty’s ass, pushing their cocks together gently but insistently. 

“How much time do we have left on this brain break?” Jack asked against his lips, before pressing kisses along Bitty’s jaw. 

One of Bitty’s hands crept up to tangle in Jack’s hair. He sighed, turning to give Jack better access to his neck. “Oh, I think I could take an hour.” 

Jack made an amused sound against the skin of his throat, then bit lightly under Bitty’s ear. “A whole hour, huh? What do you want to do with the other 55 minutes?”

Bitty laughed, or moaned, or really, it was kind of a laugh-moan. “Feeling desperate, huh?”

Jack arched against Bitty, so Bitty could feel the hard length of Jack’s cock below him. “Just a little.” 

“Me, too,” Bitty replied breathily, rubbing himself against Jack and groaning. 

“Fuck, Bits, you always feel so good.” Jack’s voice was dark with want, making Bitty shiver. 

He kissed Jack again as they ground against each other, building up the pace up slow and steady. There was just something about it - the balmy night, the lingering smell of the pie he’d baked for the dinner party they were going to at Marty’s tomorrow night, the feel of Jack beneath him, perfect. Bitty wanted the moment to last forever, even if, as Jack had said, at this rate, they’d be getting off in seconds. 

So he slowed it down. Slowed down the roll of his hips, slowed the lick of his tongue along Jack’s. Brought everything to that fuzzy slowness summer could take on. Like a lazy river, warming in the sun. One of Jack’s hands had slipped under the waistband of his shorts, was kneading into his ass, feeling amazing. Bitty reciprocated by running his own hand up Jack’s abs and over those pecs again, moaning against Jack’s lips. God, it was hard to believe Bitty had 24/7 access to all of  _ this. _

Despite the slowness, it was hard to hold themselves back, and really, why should they? Bitty hummed into Jack’s mouth, loving everything about this moment. He gripped Jack’s hip and rolled his hips faster, chasing his orgasm, feeling Jack quiver and shake and moan underneath him. It was heady, and beautiful, and so goddamned  _ hot. _

He broke the long kisses, panting now, sucking on Jack’s neck because he could, it was summer, he could mark him. The exact amount of pressure in just the right spot had Bitty groaning against Jack’s neck, coming in his boxers as his orgasm shot pleasure up his spine and down his toes. Below him, Jack was still moving, and Bitty reached down to stroke over the column of Jack’s cock, still in his shorts. 

“Come for me, Jack.” Bitty whispered the command, his voice deep and rough. 

It was enough to send Jack tumbling over, and Bitty held him close while he came, pressing kisses over his heated skin. 

When their heartbeats had slowed a little, their breath steadied, Bitty found Jack’s mouth again. The kiss was slow and sweet, like their love. With a sigh, Bitty broke it off and made a show of looking at his watch-less wrist. “Welp, still got 'bout 45 minutes.” 

He could feel Jack’s laughter rumbling through his body. “I guess I underestimated myself.” 

Bitty unfolded himself from Jack’s lap, then held out a hand to pull his boyfriend up. “Well. Since we have so much extra time, I guess we could take a shower.” He began to tug Jack back toward the bathroom, then looked over his shoulder. “Maybe if you’re real nice for me, I’ll let you bitch this pot again.” 

Jack fell against the hallway wall, shaking with laughter. “That wasn’t a euphemism for sex, Bits!”

Bitty shrugged delicately, biting back a grin. “Isn’t everything?” 

He pulled off his tank top and let it fall to the floor, then quirked a brow at Jack’s dazed expression. “C’mon, mon amour.” 

Jack barely winced at his accent, which was progress, Bitty supposed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Buzzfeed article: https://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/surprising-victorian-slang-terms?utm_term=.ctN2pynYjZ#.ytQJl4LKeo
> 
> Jack is SO the type that would get lost on wikipedia rabbit holes of information, especially regarding history stuff. 
> 
> I'm @animalasaysrauer on tumblr, thanks for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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